Monday, February 7, 2011
Case of the Mondays?
My Life sucks..... It's not cuz of my friends or most of my family..... Nothing seems to going right at all. And you know it's bad, when you look for to the littlest things like, buying a pack of cigarettes or a fucking bottle of Pepsi. Yeah, that's right, when I buy those things, I actually do feel a bit happier. I had such a good day yesterday, I got to see my friends, who I really don't see that often. But according to my dad, I see them all the time, I don't give fuck if he right or wrong about. What I can't take anymore, is being screamed at by my dad every time Wells Fargo and Sallie Mae send shit over. He has never taken my side of the fact it is simply hard for some people to get a regular as much as a job in your studies. It's fucking hard. And yeah, he says Dreamkind rejected not only because my work was too detailed but because I wasn't focused enough. But you know what FUCK HIM! He would yell at me almost every quarter about my grades, about money, about graduating on time. You know what paps, I GRADUATED and WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?! I don't care sick or not, man, I wanted you to see that moment in person not through a fucking TV screen. I'm so done with this life struggle. I never really told anyone this, but months after I graduated, mere thoughts of suicide have flown through my head. Yeah, I said it. That's how broken I feel inside every now and then. I thought I could be stronger, strong enough to get to the top but honestly, I don't know how strong I am or how much longer I can keep going... I'm just tired. So FUCK YOU student loans and FUCK YOU Universe.