Tonight has been nothing but a constant inner war. I shall explain...
A few days ago, a friend gave me a heads up that his job was hiring for a Flash animator. Of course, I went on it, sent my work and resume through my friend. And I even had an interview with them. It was very intimidating when I was there. I guess I was just overwhelmed.
Truth is, up until tonight, I have come to realization that I cannot work there. I mean, yes they had their perks and everything, but I just couldn't see myself happily working there. I know it's a job, it's a foot in the door, it'd look good on my resume but deep down I could already feel I would've been unhappy. Now, honestly, their style is part of the reason as well, and I know I'm in no position to be picky, but I'd rather be happy and passionate about what I'm working on. And a good friend of mine told me "You of all people! you told me last night just do something i love.. and you should do the same." And she's totally right.
I already know, people are gonna tell me how dumb I am for dropping this opportunity because it's clearly an opportunity, but I have things that are important for me to relearn in terms of programs and techniques. And it wasn't up until I had to work on an assignment for them where I had to design 3 stickers and to make a 10 sec. animation using their vector graphics. Now I'm sure that sounds easy to you, but for me, it wasn't. I was seriously struggling and I was so sure that even if I did work there and they allowed me some time to get comfortable with Illustrator, they probably would've let me go by then. I'm sure at least some of you would understand a little bit if you know and have seen my previous work.
And back to the whole "do what you love", I really really really.. really want to present at the First Friday event in Philly. I want to be able to put enough time into Blazer Show and Crunchy Cloud Studios as well building a new demo reel with new fresh material. It aches in my heart, that's how bad I want to do that. Of course, I will continue to job search, don't get me wrong. It's just this particular job wasn't for me.
It would be as if a vegan chef were to cook at a Wendy's. It wouldn't be or feel right.
I just wanna thank you guys for taking the time to read this. I really hope you guys aren't completely disappointed in me, that's the last thing I would wanna do.
Thanks again for reading. Peace.